Tuesday, January 22, 2008

America Isn't Fat It's Big Boned...But why and who can we blame?





C4NN Says:


Countless studies have been done to solve why America, the worlds super power, is home to the fattest population on the planet. And no matter what your opinion is on the subject, I can find a study to counter it. And not just any study, I'm talking expensive fancy graphs and pie charts (And like I said before, racing stripes makes cars go faster...well graphs and pie charts make your data valid and FACTUAL. Extra points for semi-gloss paper and binding.)

So let's explore some of these studies together. I'll let you know what I think and I encourage you to come to your own conclusions about this.

There are two main points you see floating around cyberspace that try to point the blame at WHY people are getting so fat, and they kinda go hand in hand.

1) Healthy food is getting more expensive.

This is a pretty reasonable argument right? I mean is Billy Bob going to buy that $12.00 mini crate of strawberries which will last him a day. Or 3 boxes of pop-tarts that will last him a week (and get him a free blockbuster rental!)

2) Youth activities are too expensive and unaccessible.

So little Timmy wants to sign up for hockey. Perfect! He has fun, stays active, and can maybe hit the NHL one day and support his lazy ass hopeful dad! Sign 'em up!

That will be a $500 registration fee, and he'll need $150 skates, $200 in pads, $100-200 helmet to protect his face or else your gonna be paying for his dental work, a nice stick which runs around $100-$200. You have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn for practice, drive there, sit in a cold rink till the little punk is done and all of that equipment you bought he'll out grow every season till he's about 17.

Or you can spend $400 on an xbox and a game. That'll shut em up, and here's a bag of Doritos, No you can't have strawberries! They are expensive.

Both of these arguments seem pretty logical right? Well not according to this study...

Lack of food isn’t to blame for poor kids’ obesity
Study challenges idea that low-income children don’t get adequate nutrition

In a nutshell, the study says that they followed kids from about 1999-2003 and couldn't find any information that proved this. The study was done by Iowa State University.

Okay...so if they just disproved the two most common causes for the booming obesity problem, then what is causing this epidemic?

Unpopular high school girls gain more weight
Teens view of social status has health consequences, study finds.

A new study of more than 4,000 girls finds that people who are unpopular are 60% more likely to gain weight. (in paticular girls)

And to make things worse, there is this study.

Many parents of fat kids in denial, study finds.

43 percent told researchers their obese child was ‘about the right weight’

Awesome, so now you have depressed fat kids getting a pat on the back from their naive parents who refuse to admit their child might be headed towards a severe weight problem. And admitting you have a problem is always step one.

I don't care if your on a 12 step program for drinking or admitting you need to sign up for a step-class to tone your fat ass. You need to know there is a problem before you can solve it.


Wait a minuet...I can see where they are going with all these studies. It all adds up!

Unpopular girls gain weight right?

Well the United States have always been unpopular. But just think about how much worse it's gotten since 9-11. They went on a ridiculous easter egg hunt looking for weapons of mass destruction, pissing off a lot of countries; Thus, making them super unpopular and super fat.

And JUST like the study about parents denying they have a problem, you certainly won't see Bush admitting things have gone just a TAD sour in the middle east and MAYBE they should leave. And just MAYBE they shouldn't have gone in the first place.

So in conclusion I blame America's weight problem on weapons of mass destruction, terrorists, 9-11, and the subsequent high gas prices. How can I afford to drive to the gym in my SUV? Plus with all this global warming it's too hot to go out and exercise. Thank god...at least now the USA now knows none of this is their fault.

1 comment:

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