Parents Upset Over Jesus Vs. Santa Handout
School Board Investigating Links On Teacher's Class Web Page
IRASBURG, Vt. -- Parents in Irasburg, Vt., said a teacher crossed the line between church and state when he gave out a handout entitled, "Why Jesus is Better than Santa Claus."Parents also said that the handout is reflective of a pattern of religious-themed material being given by Irasburg Village School language arts teacher Wally Rogers. FULL STORY HERE
C4NN SAYS:
Well we here at the network did some simple search engine work and found the article Wally Rogers handed out. let's take a look shall we?
Why Jesus is Better Than Santa Claus
Santa lives at the North Pole, Jesus is everywhere.
That sounds...kinda creepy...I dunno how I feel about that.
(1 Point Santa)
Santa rides on a sleigh, Jesus rides on the wind and walks on the water.
COOL! I'm a sucker for magic tricks.
(1 point Jesus)
Santa fills your stocking with goodies, Jesus supplies all your needs.
I was about to award Jesus this one, but then I got to thinking. Jesus never brought me a glow in the dark micro-machines race track OR a super Nintendo.
(1 Point Santa)
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited, Jesus stands at your door and knocks, and then enters when invited.
...um I'm pretty sure I've never once said Santa can't come in my house. Also, this makes Jesus sound like he lives by the Vampire code.
(1 Point Santa)
Santa’s visitation line is long, Jesus is as close as the mention of His name.
...Well...I may have pictures with Santa...but I do hate lineups...
(1 Point Jesus)
Santa lets you sit on his lap, Jesus lets you rest in His arms.
This point confuses me and I can't decide why either one is better.
(draw)
Santa doesn’t know your name, all he says is “Hello, little boy/girl. What’s your name?” Jesus knew your name before you did, and your address, your history and your future.
That's some more David Blaine shit right there!
(1 Point Jesus)
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly, Jesus has a heart full of love.
WOAH! WOAAAAH CHEAP SHOT JESUS!
(Deduct 1 Point Jesus)
Santa says: “Ho, ho ho”. Jesus offers health, help and hope.
Well I never see Santa with any of these girls he's always talking about, so I have to assume Jesus has my back on this one.
(1 point Jesus)
Santa says: “You better not cry”. Jesus says: “Cast all your cares upon Me because I care for you”.
Jesus sounds emo.
(1 point Santa)
Santa and his helpers make toys. Jesus makes life new, mends wounded hearts, broken homes, and builds mansions.
Jesus Builds Mansions? Wheres Mine?! Mends Broken Homes?! I know a few starving kids in Africa that must be on the waiting list...
(1 Point Santa)
Santa may make you chuckle. Jesus gives you joy that is your strength.
What? Jesus has never once told me a good joke. As a matter of fact, every time I go to one of his plays it's super serious and people die and shit. What a buzz kill. Santa gives me Candy Canes when I visit him.
(1 point Santa)
Santa is a jolly ole’ elf. Jesus is the King of Kings.
Snap. Respect.
(1 Point Jesus)
Santa gives you gifts under a tree. Jesus gave us the gift of His life on a tree.
Santa's gifts are a lot less violent...and a lot more tangible...how do you wrap Jesus' gift
(1 Point Santa)
So the final verdict is....
Santa 6 : Jesus 4.
So there you have it. C4NN stacks this bout 6:4 Santa. We'll update you as the story unfolds.
1 comment:
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